The laws around alimony (at least those that have been updated in recent decades) typically don’t mention gender or even gendered words like husband and wife. Gender shouldn’t be a factor in whether a spouse is entitled to receive support – and if so, how much – when a couple divorces.
In fact, more men are seeking – and receiving – alimony (at least temporarily) from their spouses. They’re more likely to earn significantly less than their spouse (whether that spouse is female or male) or have been a stay-at-home parent than in the past.
Judges sometimes have different standards for men seeking alimony
A former official with the American Bar Association says that “men receiving support is still the exception rather than the rule.” The president of the American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers says judges often award less spousal support to men than to women – and for shorter durations.
Judges are also more likely to require men to prove that they’re living up to their earning potential (or at least trying to) than they are with women seeking or receiving alimony.
Maintaining the marital standard of living
There are other considerations besides each spouse’s income and earning potential when a judge is called on to determine alimony (if a divorcing couple can’t negotiate it themselves, with the help of their legal representatives).
For example, under New Jersey law, a spouse with a lower income and fewer assets than their soon-to-be ex has the right to seek to maintain the “standard of living established in the marriage…with neither party having a greater entitlement to that standard of living than the other.”
Seeking alimony in divorce can be a challenge for men. There’s still somewhat of a stigma around it in some circles. Further, as we’ve discussed here, it may be challenging to get the alimony you deserve – particularly from some judges. With the right legal guidance, however, you can better work to overcome these obstacles and get the support you need as you move on to the next chapter of your life.