Parents with minor children who divorce or begin living separately generally need to find solutions for sharing custody. They must establish a routine schedule.
They may also need a secondary schedule addressing special events, including holidays, birthdays and extended school vacations. Without a clear plan in place, each special event can present an opportunity for conflict. Parents may end up fighting over holidays and birthdays, leading to reduced enjoyment for the children.
Establishing a reasonable holiday co-parenting schedule can prevent issues that worsen the dynamic between parents and make shared custody more stressful for children.
What solutions are available?
Some parents feel very strongly about certain holidays and not about others. Especially if parents come from different religions or cultures, they may be able to agree on a set schedule for the holidays where the children are with one parent for certain special events every year.
If both parents observe the same holidays, then they need to find a system for sharing them fairly. Many co-parents use an alternating holiday schedule. One parent may have the children for Christmas, while the other has them for New Year’s Eve and the next day. They then apply the inverse schedule the following year.
Other times, parents can split holidays and birthdays by scheduling a custody exchange in the early afternoon. This arrangement allows each parent to be physically present with the children on each special day. The best solution depends in no small part on unique family details.
Parents can reach a settlement where they set the terms themselves, or they can ask a judge to resolve disputes when they can’t agree on a specific arrangement. Having legal guidance to help identify likely points of contention when negotiating shared custody can reduce the likelihood of protracted conflict between divorcing parents.