Many spouses go through divorces the traditional way, through litigation. Understandably, some spouses want to settle the divorce quickly and quietly. Aside from privacy, they can save more time and money than if they went through litigation.
The three C’s
Parties who are looking into settling divorce matters privately, such as through mediation and negotiation, must ensure they are ready to take on the three C’s, which are:
- Cooperation: Each party must follow the rules of their negotiation, even those as simple as being on time and avoiding making negative remarks. This creates a civil and respectful atmosphere between parties.
- Communication: It is essential for parties to speak respectfully during discussions, as they would in court. Parties should avoid sarcasm, eye rolls and other offensive behavior.
- Compromise: Both parties will surely have their own conditions for the custody arrangement. While some of those terms meld well, others might clash. When this happens, both parties must communicate their wishes without denying the other the chance to lay down theirs. With this give-and-take attitude, the parties can meet halfway.
Of course, there are other factors that play an essential role in the success of a settlement agreement. Nevertheless, having these three elements present is already a couple of steps toward that success.
Collaborative divorce may not work in other cases
While it is a promising method, collaborative divorce is not for everyone. Mediation and negotiation may not work for divorce cases with a history of domestic violence. In most cases, courts will not allow private settlement even if the parties insist on trying it. This is because there is powerplay, fear and intimidation, among others, leading to an ineffective and undue negotiation.
No matter what method you choose to resolve your divorce, you should always choose what is best for you and for protecting your rights.